9/13/2013

A Home Without Walls

Entry #4

9/13/2013

10:39 P.M

By: Ray (The Night Author) Homan

Sadly, I haven't taken any pictures of our surroundings and events that have been happening, but I do plan to take some soon.

I try to refrain from writing about God or faith in my posts. I guess I fear that I would turn eyes away from our blog if I do, but those two topics seem to be key in our survival. He has been moving in our family and I rejoice in the fact he has been.

Most would look at our situation and say, "Don't you hate him for putting you here? Why do you still pray to him?" Funny how those same questions pop up in the book of Job in the Bible. I am not saying that we are expecting God to grace us with gifts at the end of this journey, but I am saying that there are some strong similarities between his story and our's.

Whether you are a believer or not, you do have to agree that you must find a belief structure to survive a homeless life without going insane. There are times, when I lift my hands to God, when I think I have lost it. Yet, there is a sense of calm in our family and in my personal life. I feel stronger, wiser and calmer.

When I was child up to my early twenties, I assumed that believing in God was just something you do. I thought that it was just a phase that everyone goes through. Like that goth stage or that grundgy stage, I thought that believing in God was just something that everyone goes through. I realize more than ever that God isn't a phase or just something to believe in. God is my Abba, my father and my all. Strange how much my belief in God has changed in a week's time and he isn't finished changing me.

Today is Friday 13th, something that all superstitious people freak out about. Personally, I didn't put much stock in it. The best part about living a homeless life without any money is that you don't fear bad luck as much as you did in the past.

Sara keeps joking that Jason will pop out at some point to cut off our heads.

There is not a day that goes by that I do not regret coming out here to change my inner being. If anything, disconnecting from the internet, Facebook and television, you get a lesson everyday on what type of person you are. Sometimes you don't like what you see, but it is at the surface at least and you have the chance to change it. I learned, today, that my inner demons are clawing and scratching within my head because I am trying to clean them out. They are trying to survive and I personally want them gone. It feels good to face the person you are and see what you can become. All you have to do is sweat it out in the Texas heat in a tent.

Mom received a call from Express today and was scheduled for an interview this Tuesday. I pray it all goes well for her. Charlie received her first job today and is going to start training Monday morning. I also pray for Charlie since this will be her first job without any of us helping her. In the past, Charlie worked jobs with myself and Sara; we protected her from the mean customers out there and helped her to understand what the boss wanted. Now, Charlie has to face all of this on her own and I pray that things go well for her.

--Night