9/29/2013

The last I posted something, I believe that I mentioned something about starting a new job at Suddenlink as well as working part time at Old Navy. I am sorry that I haven't updated you guys in a long time, but there isn't really much to comment on.

Today was Charlie's first day on the job at Hastings Entertainment. She was excited and nervous at the same time, I know I would be if I received my dream job.

Mom and Sara came down this pass weekend to swim and spend time with Charlie and I. After weeks of only eating crackers and drinking warm water, Sara received her check and we went to the local CiCi's pizza joint.

For those that have never heard of this place, it is a cheap pizza buffet, like $5 a person.

In my past, I would have complained about eating at a cheap place, but I thanked God every bite I had Friday night.

With two weeks to go until all four of us get a check, we needed to reach out to an old friend of ours for a loan. Thank you again, Jody, you saved our butts.

This is the first week that we will be working for something. We sleep in a parking lot with no shower and just enough money to survive another week. God always provides if we just trust in his will.

I told Charlie the other day: "After all this settles and a year has passed, I want us all four to meet up at the McD's, where I first wrote A Home Without Walls summery, and see how much we have changed." That is my goal now.

Everyday we lose weight, gain wisedom and feel God's power. All the things I have seen, I can't imagine going back to my bastard ways.

--Night

9/24/2013

As time rolls on, Charlie is starting work at Hastings,  Mom has an interview at a job in Tyler and I have two jobs coming up ... Yes two.

Glory be to God, he answers prayers and gives in abundance. Hot Topic and my old job at Old Navy is ready to put me to work and I am excited.

With all the blessings heading our way, I can't help the smile as we face the challenge of surviving on a mere $13 these next four days. Even with Sara's bank threatening to close her account, I still believe that God will provide for us and salvaging our damaged credit will be done. It might take a year, possibly two, but it can be done.

We are going to move the vehicles from the Wal-Mart parking lot onto the other side of the parking lot.

After staying here for about two days, Charlie and I have noticed a band of men walking around with back packs and asking for money. I have been keeping an eye on these guys and find their actions odd. They look properly dressed and look like they haven't missed a day of food. There is a patch of woods at the back of Wal-Mart and this is the area they take their exit and enterance. Last night, one of the men waited until 2 A.M to walk up to this nice looking car. Being the curious person I am, I watched as he opened the passenger side, tossed in his bag and hopped into the driver's side to drive off. He seemed suspicious about leaving in that car.

I am not certain if he was afraid someone was going to find out he isn't homeless or that he was driving a stolen car, but he acted strange.

I will be glad to go back to camping in a tent. I don't want to complain, but I am getting cramped in the cab of the truck.

--Night

9/22/2013

I was too busy to post an entry last night, but things are settling down enough for me to make a post.

Note: You have read my past posts and have seen my titles, but since I am posting from phone, the entries are going look a little different.

This is the second night sleeping in our vehicles. We spent last night at a rest stop, two in one vehicle then Sara in another and myself in the truck. However, tonight is different; Sara and mother has jobs in another city and Charlie has one in Tyler. Because of this, Mom and Sara are sleeping at a rest stop in the other city and Charlie and myself are sleeping in a Wal-Mart parking lot tonight.

Mom kept hugging each of us before she left with Sara. I kept telling her that everything was going to be alright, but she kept hugging us and telling us that she is going to miss us.

It has become trouble to find outlets to charge my e-cig and phone; the charging time for an e-cig is almost three hours. The charging time frame is the reason why I am posting/writing from phone. By the way, download the "writer" app from google play store, it is awesome.

Glory be to God. Things are changing within us everyday! We visited the Church Under The Bridge this Sunday and the pastor's surmmon was right on the money on what I have been saying: God either wants you to be on fire for him or be cold so that He can stir a fire within you. Amen.

--Night

9/20/2013

A Home Without Walls

9/20/2013

9:03 P.M

By: Ray (The Night Author) Homan

Beds soak wet and senses flared with fear, we head to bed on a rainy night.

During a heavy rain today, our tent slightly flooded. Our bedding was soaked and it happened during the time we were out. The forecast perdicts that it will drop down to 58 degrees tonight. I pray we do not get sick.

Charlie started her first day at McDs and nearly wanted to kill everyone that she was working with. I do hope her interview with Hastings goes well tomorrow. It will be a good pace of a job for her.

Still no calls for myself. Not sure what else to say for that other than God is doing His will in my life, so I do not worry about the job search. When He deems me ready to take a job, He will grant it.

Mom received a job today, praise God! She starts Monday at 8 A.M.

I was climbing down from the bed of the truck and slipped off the tail gate. I tell ya, slamming onto the pavement with a twisted ankle, a grown man can revise that episode of Family Guy when Peter tripped and he held onto his knee making a hissing sound.

--Night

9/19/2013

A Home Without Walls 9/19/2013 8:16 P.M I find that I miss my vaping more than taking to the tobacco pipe. The taste is awful, which is a good thing because I am no longer addicted to burning tobacco.

Sara's attitude is uplifted here lately. She is always singing to us and playing guitar as we read from His book at night before bed.

Charlie received another job offer at Hastings Entertainment. The call to the job interview came earlier today before she went into McDonalds for training. I told her that she should go for the job since the fast food industry is too demanding for someone that doesn't like pressure like herself.

Still no calls for myself or mother even after she went in for an interview and I completed an assestment test for Suddenlink. Someone is dragging their feet on that one.

Rain finally came down today, praise God. The weather is finally going to cool down around here.

--Night

Pipe

Here it is!

9/18/2013

A Home Without Walls Entry #9 9/18/2013 11:20 P.M After a year of only vaping, I have gone back smoking a tabcco pipe. I was forced to it since my bottom feed Protank 2 bubbles when in hot weather; it is fine when I use it in morning or at night. I will only use the pipe during the hotest time of the day.

I have decided, since I have not received a call from any job employers, to fill out an application for the McDs down the road. I will be able to make enough money to pay back my debt and everything else I need.

We traveled around to find a pair of black pants for Charlie to wear with her uniform. It was difficult because Charlie is a tall woman and most resale shops sell shorter leg length.

During that time, while Charlie tried on clothing, Mom and I spoke of how hard it is to find jobs in the Tyler area. It is hard to hold on to faith during this time. There are times I want to grow angry with everyone and curse my life. When those times rise, I turn to God's book and pray.

Faith can be restored if you know who to turn to. I believe if I didn't have my family out here with me I would have died along time ago.

The battle rages on with the racoons. They are clever little buggers. I might upload a picture of a racoon hat that I made. There is a homemade reciepe that will keep them away. I'll keep you updated if I use it.

--Night

9/17/2013

A Home Without Walls Entry #8 9/17/2013 10:54 P.M By: Ray(The Night Author) Homan I have switched from my laptop to my tablet to write these entries. Not much of a change for you, but a big one for me. Charlie received her uniform and is going to start this Thursday. There is part excitement and fear on her part. The jobs previous to this one were slower and more private. Sara is going through some depression at this point and instead of crowding her at the moment, we have decided to give her space. Mostly, she doesn't talk. Mom and I are still keeping faith that God will provide us jobs soon. The only calls we have received are from bill collectors, who happen to be threatening rather than warning us of our late payments. One in particular angered me, but I leave that be at the moment. God does provide though! After we canceled our water utility, we received a $60 deposit back. Praise be His name! Hold the faith brothers and sisters, God will provide. Keep us in your prayers as we keep you in ours. --Night

Failed pictures in last post

I check my account and noticed that the pictures I uploaded failed. Here is a re-upload of them:

9/16/2013

A Home Without Walls

Entry #7

9/16/2013

8:49 P.M

By: Ray (The Night Author) Homan

The week has started and no phone calls (Job calls) for me just yet. Charlie was suppose to receive a call from McDonalds, her new job, today for what day she should be in training, but no call. Mom is prepared for her interview tomorrow, which I pray goes well.

Tonight is kind of stuffy, but we are told that rain will arrive soon. We rejoice in His name for the chance of rain. It will cool things down around here.

I was called to go hiking today to study His word and speak with him. He told me to read in the book of Phillipians, a letter from Paul that was all about thanking God and being content. I read to chapter three and I was told to walk down the trail. I kept walking and walking until he stopped me at this little spot with a bench. The sunlight shown down through the trees like a spotlight and in the middle of this spotlight was a little clearing. In the little clearing was a cross made by two small sticks; a person before me had placed the sticks there.



I sat down and continued to pray and read in His book. After finishing Phillipians, I rose my hands to the sky and let out a heavy prayer. I was filled with joy and happiness as I spoke to him and praised his name. When my "class" was over, I made a twig cross of my own and sat it next to the previous one.



When I arrived back to our campsite, Mom was busy organizing her stuff; she told me that she would like to trim down her supply of clothing and would place the extra stuff in the storage we rented out earlier. Charlie was fast asleep in her chair. I could not help but think about the message he showed me the hour before, "Be content and thankful."

I decided to sleep for the rest of the day, after a good book from my Nook app. I think I have three book reading apps on my phone: Nook, Kindle and Kobo. If I had to choose my favorite, it would have to be Kobo, but I am fond of the Nook as well. The book I read was called Ginger Bread Man, but I cannot recall the author at the moment.

The tent was hot, I practically sweat off all the water I had drank for that day within thirty minutes. After a very uncomfortable nap, we went for swim and Sara joined us after coming home from work.

We sat down at the picnic table at the park store house and charged our laptops along heating up our canned soup in the slow cooker. Just as a reminder, there isn't any electricity in our camp site and there is a burn ban in effect around here; which means we have to visit the park store every night to heat up soup and charge our devices.

Everyone was laughing and carrying on about the events during the day. I could not get the idea of being content out of my mind. We are content and we are thankful for everyday we get to serve the Lord.

--Night

　

　

　

9/15/2013

A Home Without Walls

Entry # 6

9/15/2013

11:10 P.M

By: Ray (The Night Author) Homan

It is spooky where we are living in now. Since our "lease" came up at the previous camp site, we had to move into another for tonight. At the current rate, we would only be spending $77 as oppose to the $150 we spent for the other camp site. Granted, we lose electricity and there is no one that is camping around us, but it is cheaper and more peaceful ... During the daylight that is.

At the current time, I am working on the sequel book to Club Red, The Terrible Night at Carnival Red, and I have a lot of creepy images floating through my mind. Which helps my writing I guess.

There is a quarter of a mile hike to the bathrooms in this area, which isn't bad in the daylight. I had to walk up through the woods and then back after a shower. Every step I took, I was reminded what to do and what not to do in a horror movie situation like this; countless hours of horror movie watching had to have some reason.

The racoons are dangerous in this portion of the woods; even writing this, a racoon had gotten into the bed of our truck and had scattered unused plastic dishes around. When I ran out to him, he scampered off. As I started to clean up the mess, he was on the picnic table trying to get into the ice chest, which only has ice water in it! We went back and forth until I put everything into the tent.

Emotions ran high today. We visited the church under the bridge, which was a church home that my mother and sister had been going to before this time. This church appeals to both church going Christians and the homeless ones that live on the street. The church staff give out free baskets of food and offer coffee with waffles.

It wasn't the homeless life that brought me to the church, it was the waffles.

Everything that the pastor spoke about this morning was almost identical to what I have been saying here lately: God is changing us; he is putting us through harsh times to see his love; he brought us out here to create new beings. I thought it was eerie how he was speaking on the same cords as we have been out here.

After the surmmon, we went to do laundry at a very nice laundry mat, complete with free wi-fi. I was trying to upload last night's blod entry, but the wi-fi needed a passcode and the clerk didn't know it at the time.

Once we left from the laundry mat, Sara said that she wanted to try asking around at a nearby ranch for work. She has been trying to get a job working with horses since she was a child and she felt that today was her time to venture about. But, like I feared, the place only hired people with degrees and it was one of those places, "You need to know someone that knows the owner to get a job there." Very unfair if you ask me. Sara has years of training horses and she can spot a breed in a field filled with all kinds of horses. If you ask me, her knowledge about the equine nature could surpass the one that has a degree.

After the little venture to the ranch, our emotions were running high. It was hot outside and we were very hungry. So, tempers started to heat up around here and there were words exchanged. We collected ourselves and apologized for the harsh words expressed. We all know that if we start to push each other away with harsh words, we will not be able to make it peacefully out here. It will take the four of us to be strong in God's will.

The question keeps coming up, "What do we say when we are asked why are we constantly camping out?" We have kicked the idea around, because we know that question is going to come up at some point or another. To be honest, the only thing to say is, "We like to camp." The wildlife parks are looking for money and since we have an annual pass along with camping gear, why not camp? We would be spending more in a hotel room and even more in a rented house. The point of us camping out, with limited luxury, is to save money that will pay back our debt.

At first, I was a little ashamed of becoming homeless, but now I am proud. I am not homeless, because I have found God out in these woods. When you live within God, you are never homeless. He has provided us many things out on this trip and is changing us from within. If I cannot be proud of that, then what can I be proud of? God wanted us out here to make us stronger and wiser, for that, I am proud of saying that I love to camp out in God's wilderness to get away from all the distractions of the outside world.

--Night

9/14/2013

A Home Without Walls

Entry #5

9/14/2013

11:11 P.M

By: Ray (The Night Author) Homan

We are on our last day at this camp site. At the wildlife state park that we reside in at the moment there is a limit to two weeks when it comes to staying here overnight. It isn't a policy, just some rule the place sets up to keep squatters out. Even though I would argue until I am blue in the face that we are not squatters and that we do indeed take care of the park; we keeps our noise down; we keep our trash picked up and our camp site looking nice. Yet, because of bad apples in the past, they will be keeping an eye on us.

However, we are not leaving just yet, because we still have six days until we reach the two week mark.

Our plan is to camp in one camp space for two weeks and then move on to another wildlife park, or sleep in our cars at the rest stop for a couple nights only to return back to this very park.

We like it here, mainly because there is flexibility to the park. I wish to name the park, but for personal reasons, I will remain silent.

Tomorrow is Sunday, the day we stop and worship our creator at our church. I haven't been to church since I was fourteen, but I am making stride to connect with God. I and my family believe that going to church doesn't save you, or can make you into a better person, but it is a place where everyone can worship together and fellowship together.

Many people have a bad insight to church; personally I don't blame them because religion can burn people at some time or another. I know that my past church burned me, they kicked I and my sisters out because we sided with our mother during my parents divorce. It was a political game that I was not able to play out. Now I look at church like going to a bar: you sit down, hang out and talk with people. I know many of you reading this would hate me comparing church to a bar, but if you really think about it, that is what it is. Some people go in to look cool and smart; others come in to just relax and meet people. There are going to be fights and there are going to be harsh words, but in the end everyone gets a chance to meet people that could enrich their lives.

Religion and society today do not go hand in hand. Sure, many people will attend a free meeting and talk about how Miley Cyrus has lost her mind, but will not go to church.

There was a young man that I used to work with, he would go on and on about how Christians are ignorant and stupid. He claimed that they are always damning people or trying to send them to Hell only to claim that they could save them by praying with them.

Here I was, a Christian who wasn't strong in his faith and enjoyed our conversations. I didn't want to save him or want to condemn him to Hell, but he said that people of my faith did those things. I have a history with church talk and I knew what he was talking about. I had always hated the fact that Christians could not just sit down with someone and enjoy a conversation with them without throwing in how wrong they were and how much of a sinner they were. As a kid, I loved to hear about other religions and never thought about denying my God. If Christians are ignorant, I guess I am the black sheep of the faith.

Over the years working with people that hated Christians and called them stupid, I became very silent about my faith. I would agree on the points that I agreed with, but remained silent when a topic was raised on something that hurt my faith. In some way, I guess you could say, I believed them at some point and thought that Christians, including myself, were stupid people who only wanted to claim to save people.

It was not until a local man stood outside our office one day with a sign that read in bold red letters: God will send sinners to Hell! He spoke with a loud voice saying that all college students are going to Hell for sexual encounters and drinking all the time. He would yell at the people who spoke out against him and would say that the Devil was controlling their minds.

I never wanted to be associated to a radical like him, because to me, I live the portions of the Bible that say: "Love thy neighbor."

The young man that I mentioned, started to get very angry about the picket man. He printed out twenty pages of research on why Christianity was ignorant and scientific reason on why God did not exist. He took the pages and ran out to this "Holy man."

I stood outside, smoking my cigarette and watched in horror as my friend/co-worker started yelling in the man's face and spouting out everything printed out. The only way I could describe how my friend acted that day is those demon possession movies where the person is going into convulsions and yelling in strange tongues. If he vomited pea soup, I wouldn't have been surprised.

As I stood there, watching the Holy battle rage on, I noticed something. The man with the sign read from the Bible and quoted scripture, calling it truth. My friend read from his printed pages and called it truth. I didn't realize it until today that both were doing the exact same thing. They were both reading from something that someone else wrote and called it truth. They both were fighting about something that someone else said. None of them were thinking for themselves, but they acted as though both had done something to the other for personal revenge.

If I remember anything about the Bible, it is this, God is wrathful yes, but he is also loving. Your parent/guardian can either punish you or hug you. Most of God's punishment was before Christ came to pay for our sins. Now God can love us all the time because we do not have to pay for our sins. It is our get out of jail free card.

I often wonder if any of us know what we are talking about. We talk about war because it makes sense, but does it really? We talk about our religion and say it is truth, but is it really? By the end of the day it comes down to what you think and believe. I believe God is a loving god and wants us all to love one another. I guess you can call me the Christian Hippie. He doesn't hate us, so why do we hate each other?

I have come to realize that my friend's fight wasn't with me or the man with the sign, but with his heavenly father. The man with the sign's should have realized that God is a creator of love and he should follow that example.

Safe to say, after that day, the authorities escorted the man off the campus and he was never seen again. My friend claimed he won that day with truth, but somehow I felt like the only thing he won that day was another spot in the line waiting to love God.

--Night

9/13/2013

A Home Without Walls

Entry #4

9/13/2013

10:39 P.M

By: Ray (The Night Author) Homan

Sadly, I haven't taken any pictures of our surroundings and events that have been happening, but I do plan to take some soon.

I try to refrain from writing about God or faith in my posts. I guess I fear that I would turn eyes away from our blog if I do, but those two topics seem to be key in our survival. He has been moving in our family and I rejoice in the fact he has been.

Most would look at our situation and say, "Don't you hate him for putting you here? Why do you still pray to him?" Funny how those same questions pop up in the book of Job in the Bible. I am not saying that we are expecting God to grace us with gifts at the end of this journey, but I am saying that there are some strong similarities between his story and our's.

Whether you are a believer or not, you do have to agree that you must find a belief structure to survive a homeless life without going insane. There are times, when I lift my hands to God, when I think I have lost it. Yet, there is a sense of calm in our family and in my personal life. I feel stronger, wiser and calmer.

When I was child up to my early twenties, I assumed that believing in God was just something you do. I thought that it was just a phase that everyone goes through. Like that goth stage or that grundgy stage, I thought that believing in God was just something that everyone goes through. I realize more than ever that God isn't a phase or just something to believe in. God is my Abba, my father and my all. Strange how much my belief in God has changed in a week's time and he isn't finished changing me.

Today is Friday 13th, something that all superstitious people freak out about. Personally, I didn't put much stock in it. The best part about living a homeless life without any money is that you don't fear bad luck as much as you did in the past.

Sara keeps joking that Jason will pop out at some point to cut off our heads.

There is not a day that goes by that I do not regret coming out here to change my inner being. If anything, disconnecting from the internet, Facebook and television, you get a lesson everyday on what type of person you are. Sometimes you don't like what you see, but it is at the surface at least and you have the chance to change it. I learned, today, that my inner demons are clawing and scratching within my head because I am trying to clean them out. They are trying to survive and I personally want them gone. It feels good to face the person you are and see what you can become. All you have to do is sweat it out in the Texas heat in a tent.

Mom received a call from Express today and was scheduled for an interview this Tuesday. I pray it all goes well for her. Charlie received her first job today and is going to start training Monday morning. I also pray for Charlie since this will be her first job without any of us helping her. In the past, Charlie worked jobs with myself and Sara; we protected her from the mean customers out there and helped her to understand what the boss wanted. Now, Charlie has to face all of this on her own and I pray that things go well for her.

--Night

9/12/2013

A Home Without Walls

Entry #3

9/12/2013

9:06 P.M

By : Ray (The Night Author) Homan

Today another miricle happened, Mom received an interview for a job. Because of her history as a book-keeper, she relies on jobs through the staffing company Express.

Her current contact, Adam, works in Express and aids her to receive jobs. Adam here lately has been somewhat a slacker, just picture me sounding like that bald dude from Back to the Future. However, she had contact with a person named Faith. I am uncertain if the others catch that irony, but I do. Anyway, Faith was going to check with Adam to get a copy of Mom's resume, but as I mentioned Adam is a slacker, so he did not have a copy of one. So, Mom sped down through Tyler this morning to get to Faith as soon as possible with a resume. Charlie and I held onto whatever we could in the truck as she raced to the office. There were times that I had to close my eyes to pray for God to keep us safe as she nearly reared a truck in front of us!

I plan to extend my lessons out here by disconnecting myself from Facebook and Twitter, which I had been keeping up with posts here and there on my phone. I also will be limiting down the use of my electronic cigarette to early mornings and night. The reason why I am limiting myself is because the heat messes with the coils in my Pro Tank 2 and I go through the little coils too quickly and the vapor tastes weird. So, removing myself from Facebook and Twitter along with limiting down my favorite e-cig, you can imagine how I am going to be twisted up by the end of the day.

However, I do look at this as a lesson plan from God. I have been suffering from personal issues at the moment, most I do not care to write about because they are too damn silly to discuss, but I felt a tug at my heart to limit myself off of nicotine and remove myself from the social network. I don't know what he is going to do with me, but I feel he is going to mold me into something new. I just hope he keeps the Night Author side of me.

Shorty (Sara) is losing her mind, she said today; at her job, there is a woman that plays country music every hour on the hour. "I hate country," she said at our soup dinner tonight, "it is so damn depressing that it makes me sick." What I find funny is that back when she was a child, Shorty loved country music and in fact had country life flowing through her veins. Funny how everything changes as you get older.

There is a threat that we might not make it next week, but with the new jobs coming in, positivity is flowing through the camp. I am excited about this because when we first were evicted, I honestly thought that Mom and Charlie were going to lose their minds.

I am grateful to God for the chances he is giving us.

--Night

9/11/2013

A Home Without Walls

Entry #2

9/11/2013

10:36 P.M

By : Ray (The Night Author) Homan

New mircles happen everyday, we just do not see them.

Charlie received her first job today. It is her first job without any help from any one of us (Mom, Sara, myself). There is excitement and fear in her eyes, which makes me proud and fearful for her. However, no matter what happens, I know she will do very well.

The job search still continues for Mom and I.

Charlie, Sara and myself went hiking on the trail that I took yesterday. I guess we ended up talking too much because we ended up on the other side of the trail that I haven't seen before. I need better photos of the area we are living in, but the ones I took for today will have to do.

Mom has always had trouble cutting the metaphoric "strings" from her children. With my new hyper nature, she is being tested greatly out here. She always calls me when I am on a trail, which is sometimes troublesome when I am going up hill. I guess I need to pull out my blue tooth when I go on my trail walking.

There is a sort of peace not knowing what is going to happen tomorrow. Most of it stems from faith, but the other portion is the feeling of not giving a damn what we should do for the rest of our lives. I love the idea of dealing with things as they happen. In the past, I was the type of person that would plan thirty years ahead and when my plans did not work out I would through a huge fit, slam my fist into a wall and call out doomsday whenever I could. Yet, out here, I can only look into the present because there is no telling what the future holds.

--Night

 

9/10/2013

A Home Without Walls

Entry: #1

By: Ray (The Night Author) Homan

9/10/2013

7:47 P.M

Debt, credit decrease and the cost of rent has lowered our income into nothing and within a few days, a bounced check cost my family's rent home. It has been four days since I and my family have been evicted from our rented home. We have fallen into the wooden arms of the Wildlife Park in the city we live in. In perfect description, my family and I are now homeless. We plan to continue this life without walls until we can pay back all the debt that has been collected throughout the years and build our credit back up in order for us to gain a home.

Even though it is hard, we have adapted to this way of life in only four days. We had to think out of the "vacation camping" box and entered the knowledge that this tent is going to be our new home.

I ventured out into a hiking trail. I did not realize that it was a biker's trail and further missed the mark that the trail was for advanced biking. You can imagine what it was like for a two hundred pound man walking up and down tall hills, puffing on his electronic cigarette here and there. If I am left alone, my mind wanders into nightmarish relms.

Things are not being said between the others and I, I believe it is because we fear that an instant fight will brew and that is something we will not be able to take on. Fighting amongst each other will increase the stress around here and each of us realize that we will fall. However, it is very annoying to feel that presence of thought without words.

It is hard to adapt, mainly without job security at the moment. Time will tell if things will get better.

--Night